anna & julie

‘they do not deserve to kiss each other…’

Have you ever had a moment in your life when everything just all of a sudden made sense? When you realize that some of the hardest times in your past were actually essential in bringing you into the most beautiful moments of your present? This is how I felt when I met and fell in love with Julie.


It was as if I realized in a moment that the years required to come to terms with my sexuality (years that
Julie also experienced herself) were all worth it. And had it not been for the frustrating state of Americas political climate I would not have followed my gut and crossed the Atlantic. Leaving my home in North Carolina for a new life in Düsseldorf, just an hour away from Julie’s hometown in Essen.


Each moment led us to the same part of the world, on the same day, on the same dating app, where we mutually swiped right. It was this connection that landed us at the CSD parade here in Düsseldorf. It was a sunny day in June; Julie’s curls framed her face and complimented her pale-pink floral skirt. I knew with a glance and a feeling in my chest I was going to kiss her. After admiring the pride flags and watching some ducks, we took a little detour near the celebration. Then, to my excitement, she kissed me! I happily kissed her back and honestly nothing ever felt better. The day was almost perfect, until a few guys started addressing us. I couldn’t understand what they were saying but I could sense that their words weren’t friendly.  Startled, I asked Julie to translate. The thing that baffled me, was the way they threw these negative words around our heads with hate and intent to hurt.


Our first date wasn’t the last time Julie and I have been (b)othered for our sexuality. We are both young feminine women. Out of innocence people constantly assume we’re friends or even sisters before it comes to their mind that we could be partners. To be perceived as sisters is certainly the least sexy thing that could happen, but it protects us from intolerance. Every single time I tell them “She’s my girlfriend” I’m casually assaulted with, “Which guy hurt you?“ and “How do you have sex?“ I’ve let strangers believe she’s my “normal friend“ more times than I wish I had to. I’ve lied more than I deserve to.
When you’re in love, it’s not something you want to hide. I could scream it from the rooftops. Our neighbors might hear it from the hall. I want our love to not just be tolerated, but to be accepted and seen as belonging to the norm. Because, just like anyone else, I want to kiss the woman I love. Overcoming linguistic, cultural difficulties, and barriers like this one – we sure as hell deserve it.


Xx Anna